Dear Officer,

Please don't be pretend to be nice.

Or be my friend.

When you come back with a citation,

"The only reason I'm doing this is because..."

It's because you want to ruin my day.

Job well done sir.

ps Why isn't the cop emoji frowning instead of smiling?

pps I totally deserved it but it still blows.

Dear Husband,

You're pretty cute.

I like you a lot.

I'm still not sick of you.

Score!

Thanks for always remembering to take out the garbage. 

If that was my job I would forget.

Thanks for putting up with how messy I am.

I know it drives you nuts.

Oh and thanks for marrying me and stuff.